Love’s Not a Competition (but I wrote a blog about it anyway)

Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash

I usually only post blogs once a fortnight, but it’s valentine's day so I need to distract myself from the void of bitter loneliness that is the life of a music producer…

Here are my top 5 favourite love songs and the reasons I enjoy them. They may not all be the timeless classics you’re expecting, but each of these songs resonates with me, and like everybody else, I have specific meanings and emotional reactions to each of them.

You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me – John Mayer

Firstly, did I say they were all going to be happy, soppy love anthems? Jokes aside, this song carries an important message that many people need to hear at some point in their lives. In my eyes, this song doesn’t have a chorus (unless you consider the whistled melody hook a chorus) but rather uses a ‘verse/ tag line’ format, common in folk music, which keeps the story moving swiftly whilst driving home the message after each verse.

John begins by using the birth and extinction of dinosaurs as a metaphor for the beginning and end of a relationship by using the violent imagery of, “great big bang” and “fiery raining meteors” to tell us that this relationship didn’t end on good terms. However, this person is incredibly special to John, and even though they’ve gone their separate ways the metaphor of planets and the moons gravitational pull on the sea explains to us that no matter how far apart they are, the impact this person had on John is so profound that they will always be a part of him.

The final verse, even though there are no clever hidden meanings or imagery, has the biggest impact on me. Before this, he was speaking so poetically but now he becomes very literal and simple. He explains the scenario of a pastor asking guests at the wedding of John’s former lover why she and her new partner can’t marry. The line, “I’ll keep my word and my seat”, hit me in the feelings like a freight train the first time I heard it because of the obvious strength it takes to not only move on from someone you love but support them at their wedding is. That, to me, is what love is all about.

“If you love them let them go”, albeit cheesy, is the main takeaway from this song because bitterness gets us nowhere, and sometimes the healthiest and most compassionate thing we can do is let go.

You Can’t Hurry Love – The Supremes

Heartbreak is inevitable. Many of us experience it at least once in our lives and although for some, the search for a partner to share our life with is the be-all and end-all, sometimes we need to remind ourselves that there’s no rush and we’ll all find that special someone eventually. We’ve all heard agonising proverbs after a breakup; “there’s plenty of fish in the sea”, “love will find a way”, “you can’t love until you love yourself” and many others, but for some reason, this song feels different. Maybe it’s the catchiness of the melodies that us single people belt out after our tenth glass of champagne at yet another wedding. It could just be the infectious soul sensibilities of Motown Record’s house band, The Funk Brothers. Whatever it is, this song has earned itself a place on countless playlists and remains a highly requested function song to this day.

Although it’s full of clichés, there is an important message of patience in this song and the detail of a mother consoling her heartbroken child is relatable for many of us and maybe hearing it can take people back to when they were young, and what their parents used to teach them about love. Above all, it’s a catchy song for dancing away heartache until the right person comes along and a perfect jam for a solo isolation dance party if you find yourself alone this Valentine’s Day.

Perfect – Ed Sheeran

I know this is a fairly obvious choice but it’s so touching to hear Ed sing about his wife. In an interview with Zane Lowe in 2017, he discussed the song and the year he took out to solidify his relationship with her while they were still dating. By travelling together they found an escape from the pressures of Ed's fame, and the foundations laid in this period of their relationship formed the bond that keeps them going strong through their time apart. (Crazy Chemist, 2017 18:30-23:35).

I love this song for the detail that Ed goes into about his wife and the specific memory of dancing on the grass barefoot listening to their favourite song. It's details like these that really pull listeners into songs, where writers invite us into their lives and show their deepest emotions through treasured memories. I feel that details like this cannot only be applied to the writer or performer because listeners, as I’ve mentioned before, will put their own meaning to songs. “Dancing in the dark” and “barefoot on the grass” can mean different things to all of us, trigger specific memories of our own, and give the song new depth, connecting listeners to the emotions portrayed.

The slow tempo and 12/8 time signature make it a perfect (pun completely intended) song to dance to, and it can be found on numerous first dance and wedding playlists on Spotify. To me, this is a faultless love ballad with few metaphorical or overly poetic lines, just someone singing about the person they love and there’s nothing purer than that.

She’s a God – Neck Deep

After hearing soul-crushing break-up songs like ‘December’ and ‘I Hope This Comes Back to Haunt You’, it’s great to hear lead vocalist Ben Barlow sing a happy love song. Pop Punk is well known for its common themes of heartbreak and bitter ends to relationships, but who’s to say bands can’t write positive songs when they meet the right people?

In the song, Ben tells us how he sees his new girlfriend as a God that only he believes in because he’s the only one who sees her the way he does. The little details of the way he describes her eyes as “planets in a solar flare” and how to him, she is at her most beautiful when her hair is a mess, give us an insight into the closeness of their relationship and the tight bond they share.

The religious references to nirvana, dharma, and Madonna* are so well used and add to the depth of his love and devotion to his girlfriend as well as being incredibly pleasing rhymes. The allusions to spirituality and travelling to find oneself are funny, (especially the “grow your hair out” line) and are a great lead up to him describing the “miracles” she performs at the end of the second verse.

By the bridge, we learn that referring to his girlfriend as a deity isn’t just a good metaphor for someone you adore and believe in because he reveals that she is only a God to him and that she is saving him from himself. This tells us that this relationship is more than just a passing fling and that he has truly fallen for her because she is making a better person out of him.

As much as I love yelling along to sad pop/ punk bangers at Slamdunk, I think it’s time for more bands to get positive when it comes to the subject of love. But not As It Is. We all need something to cry to. In fact, after this blog, go and listen to 'Dial Tones' by As It Is... Consider it an honourable mention.

*Madonna, in this case, can be a reference to the Virgin Mary as well as the pop star (Freeman’s, 2021).

To Take You Home – Frank Turner

Much of Frank’s writing is influenced by his home country, and the first verse paints a perfect picture of the southern English countryside with references to the Downs, hills, and rivers. I love the beautiful landscapes of the south of England and these lyrics take me back to when I was a child, climbing the South Downs with my grandma. It’s obvious Frank is passionate about England, but what does this song have to do with romantic love?

The first mention of a Parisian woman is in the first chorus where we learn that Frank met her at a death metal show, asking her if she wanted to take him home. We all know what Frank is talking about here because taking someone home after a gig is rarely an innocent affair. Now I hear you asking, “but Will, how is this a love song if he just wants to go back to her place?” To that, I say be patient because I’m getting to it.

Verse three describes the woman a little more; how she comes from France, has never been to England, and dislikes Frank’s music, good start right? By the bridge, we learn that the woman might have a tighter grip on Frank’s heart than we first thought when he says, “I’m singing for the hope that she would ever remember me”. He is worried that when he returns to England, she will forget about him and move on with her life.

Travel has always been a big influence on Frank’s songs as before the Coronavirus pandemic, he was constantly touring and travelling the world. Naturally, he may have found it hard to form strong relationships, especially with people he met in foreign countries. However, in the final chorus, it is revealed that Frank isn’t just interested in a one-night stand with the Parisian woman, but he wants to genuinely take her home to England. He wants to show her the country he grew up in, the places he loves, and beautifully wraps up the song with the hook line, “And that’s the way that a French kiss from a Parisian girl can capture an English boy”.

I guess we’re all looking for that special person to share the places we’re proud to call home with; someone who can perform miracles and pull us out of the darkest chapters of our lives, to dance barefoot with to our favourite songs, and lose ourselves in beautiful moments. Was that too cheesy? I don’t care, I’m a hopeless romantic and that’ll never change.

I hope you’re all safe and well today, whether you’re spending it with friends, family, partners, or your cat if you’re anything like me. Happy Valentine’s Day!

References:

• Crazy Chemist (2017). Zane Lowe and Ed Sheeran #2 | An in-depth on Divide Jan 2017. (online video) Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Sn_L5Szl0

• Freeman’s (2021). ‘A History of Madonna and Child in Fine Art’. Accessed on 07/02/21, available at: https://www.freemansauction.com/news/history-madonna-and-child-fine-art.

Songs:

• Mayer, J. (2017). You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me. Washington: Colombia Records.

• Holland, E. Holland, B. Dozier, L. (1966). You Can’t Hurry Love. Los Angeles: Motown Records.

• Sheeran, E. (2017). Perfect. Los Angeles: Asylum Records.

• West, M. Bowden, S. Green, M. Washington, D. Barlow, M. (2019). She’s a God. Los Angeles: Hopeless Records.

• Turner, F. (2008). To Take You Home. London: Xtra Mile Recordings.